Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Socializing & Homeschooling; Evils of Public School

Don't let anyone ever drag out that hoary old protest against homeschooling, "Oh, but your child won't have an opportunity to socialize with other kids." There are more social opportunities for homeschoolers available than we can possibly handle. And in far better social environments, too.

For instance, there's Scouting, where, despite any other objection you could make about it, the primary purpose of the organization is to learn how to develop friendships and place yourself in context with the wider community in a supportive environment. You can earn badges in conflict resolution and social manners - in addition to ones in elementary physics and computing. Or, there's martial arts classes, which give you exercise, physical skills, and humility while teaching you how to operate in a formal hierarchical social institution... and defend yourself against bullies. For that matter, there are chess schools/clubs, Lego classes, language classes, 4-H, sports, music, environmental groups and the entire range of service organizations. And church, if you're into that kind of thing. That's a freaking smorgasbord of social opportunities without having to add into it being imprisoned for six long hours each day into the same environment (essentially a pack of young animals vying for dominance) without the support of your family, with no way to retreat or take a break.

I'll save my screed against brainwashing and the origins of compulsory education for later. This may be a tricky topic for an educator to write about.

Public school is a snake pit, even for ordinary kids. I routinely hear or read people excuse this by claiming that kids won't learn how to handle adult life without learning how to endure abuse from peers in school; "oh, that's just part of growing up," I read. I'd like to know: to what adult life experience is this experience supposed to pertain? Aside from (possibly) the military or other institutions, in what other situation is an adult required to remain in the company of his or her age cohort with no ability to make choices about remaining, no way to avoid bullies, and no recourse for abuse? None. Not in this country. You are allowed to change jobs. You can leave your lunch table if you need to. And, I'd like to point out that this was not part of growing up for most of the history of humans. Psychologically and socially, we've evolved to be raised by an extended family unit or small group. This is also another pet topic... I'm on a roll with issues that have been simmering for decades, I believe.

One thing that school does teach well depends partially on the psychology of the kid. In learning how to deal with an unreasonable and legal-bound system, you can learn either powerlessness, how to control your frustration, or how to bully others. That middle possibility is obviously the best, if it can be achieved, but to anyone paying attention to the major K-12 educational issues, it's clearly the least possible.

I don't know if my older daughter will ever forgive me for not homeschooling her. I hear the note of resentment sounded at least once a week.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Back-to-Park Week

This short week was jam-packed with meetings in parks to launch the school year - homeschooling park day, the county homeschool back-to-school picnic, scouting... after all the stress of meeting new people in new situations, it was a definite dud as far as schoolwork was concerned. Rose couldn't focus on anything. Fortunately, we had a very productive school week last week and could afford to take it easy. She got a lot of exercise and social practice in! It's one of those times when I'm again very, very glad that we chose to learn at home so that we have that flexibility.

And, Rose pulled on her 'safety net' tags for each excursion by herself - without my actually even remembering about them. So I do feel that it was ultimately a good choice to have them made. I suspect that just wearing them as a backup plan has given Rose some confidence - sort of like Dumbo's magic crow feather, a sort of talisman as well as a safety net. About a week ago, Rose got "lost" in the library - I was actually only a few aisles away, but she was focused on finding books and didn't notice where I was. I came out of the aisles to see her standing by the librarian's desk and talking to the librarian. She had remembered to do exactly the right thing, and while she was anxious, she wasn't in a desperate panic. "A little anxiety, Mom," the librarian said, and she gave me a look to tell me that she'd noticed that it was a little unusual. I nodded, yep, and praised Rose for remaining calm and remembering where to go for help. It's a big step forward!