Anxieties

What with several elderly family members in and out of the hospital, plus our strained economic and living situation, Rosie's been absorbing stress and is rather wound up. We've resorted to 1mg of melatonin and a dropperful of "Kid's Mellow" at bedtime, in addition to the backrub, soothing music, and strawberry scented relaxing spray routine. Getting her to take the melatonin was a bit of a production at first. She was interested in the recent research showing that 3mg of melatonin helped autistic kids with sleep, but insisted that she "doesn't take pills at night; only in the morning."

"But sweetie," I tried, "I take pills at night."

"You and I have a different pattern," she explained somewhat haughtily.

Indeed. Well, a friend whose kids also need melatonin mentioned that there was a liquid form of it as well, and that Rosie needn't know about it. I knew that wouldn't do - she needs to know what is being given her and why; I won't dose her without her awareness at this age. But I was about to despair, until after one night where Rosie finally capitulated after being so overwhelmed with anxiety that she could not sleep until the wee hours of the morning.

It's helped, but still - nightmares about bugs have persisted, and a hundred other jittery things during the day keep her pretty jumpy. Last night she sobbed that she didn't want to grow up and have to worry about taxes. Admittedly my first internal reaction was something of amusement, but then of course, I did realize that not only is this a legit concern related to life as she's experiencing it, but that her mind is subconsciously using multiple metaphors to express her anxieties. It's said that there are only two certainties in life, after all: death and taxes. I'm sure it's too much for her to face the impending demise of the relatives she loves - taxes is an acceptable deflection.

Poor kid, approaching her first experience with death of loved ones. I can't say I'm not stressed either, and it's been increasingly hard for me to cope with her outbursts.