Well, 2 half-Xanax got me through Thanksgiving, and that's something I never in my life thought I'd say. I never thought I'd ever agree to taking meds for stress under any circumstances - hell, everyone has stress, so you just buckle down and get through it, right? I'll have to reflect more on this later. I kept a stiff upper lip for 8 years and then suddenly I was out of lip-stiffener, like running out of gas on the highway. Some days I feel like such a whiner and such a complete dip for relying on these drugs. I've been on Effexor and the occasional Xanax for about two months.
Two months - maybe I should actually give myself a break there, come to think of it. The problem being that now that I'm feeling stronger, I want to dump the drugs, of course. Considering that I just got the news that I'm losing my job to a layoff at the end of the year - or perhaps in March if one more project can be squeezed out - maybe I should just hold tight.
The last week has been rather hellish at work. Motivation is a little hard to come by and I'm having these frequent intensely depressive dips during the afternoon. I should make a point to remember what these were like before I started taking the Effexor - hours of sitting in my cube fighting to remain focused and not break down sobbing - and keep the drugs on board for now.
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